sick_suicide on Xanga

halifax loves pirate_hoax
I did everything you did to me
To you and I'm out of ammunition
So I'll take these words and
Fire them into your chest
Find a new place for them to rest

sick_suicide

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Name: Madison
Country: United States
State: Washington
Metro: Oak Harbor
Birthday: 10/10/1900
Gender: Female

Interests: HALIFAX!!!! The Academy Is, Bright Eyes, Die Trying, Senses Fail, Armor for Sleep, Early November, Blood Brothers, Thursday, Pulley, Underoath, Bleed the Dream, Fall Out Boy, Oasis, Crossfade, Billy Talent, Matchbook Romance, Aslyn, Dropkick Murphys, Lydia, Gratitude, Muse, Taking Back Sunday, Def Leppard, The Sounds, Dope, Coheed and Cambria, Chronic Future, Rise Against, Alexisonfire, Bad Religion, Social Distortion, The Matches, Pennywise, Saliva, Vendetta Red, The Used, My Chemical Romance, Eisley, Sugarcult, Kidney Thieves, Rob Zombie, Papa Roach, Hawthorne Heights, Slipknot, Unwritten Law, Lustra, Smile Empty Soul, Three Days Grace, Sum 41, Distrubed, Jimmy Eat World, Cold, Thrice, Janes Addiction, Mxpx, Nirvana, Fall Out Boy, Pillar, Kutless, From First To Last, Relient K, The Bled, Millencolin, and so on.
Expertise: i love art. music, photography, and video are my favorite. im good at listening to halifax, looking at icons, cutting/editing video clips, fliming, playing guitar, eating cheeeeeeese. my favorite color is red.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment

Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:

tiggergirl9110
MSN: tiggergirl9110@hotmail.com

Member Since: 9/23/2004

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.:*mY icOns aRe bEtteR thAn yOur icOns*:.
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Posting Calendar

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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Currently Listening
Life in Dreaming
By Hidden in Plain View
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hey everyone. sorry for disappearing and being a jerk hah. im making a new site tonight so ill be updating on that and ill post later what it is.

thanks for everyone who kept leaving comments and subscribing.

EVERYONE SHOULD BUY THE NEW HALIFAX CD COMING OUT IN A MONTH

hah and late marry christmas and late happy new years

edit---///

alright

new icon site = scenical_icons

new quote + picture site = scenical_quotes

10:26 PM - 51 views - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Monday, December 19, 2005

Currently Listening
The Silence in Black and White
By Hawthorne Heights
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sorry guys, im hella sick and feeling like crap. and i gotta work tomorrow...and tuns of other shit to do before christmas. ill update on either wednesday or tuesday. probably wednesday...and probably thursday...but not friday...maybe saturday. and yeah ill shut up

thanks for the comments. im thinking about making two sites, one for icons and one for pictures/quotes? so then my site wont fuck up your comps?

ATTENTION!!!

NEW HALIFAX SONG - NIGHTMARE -

check it out on my myspace

http://www.myspace.com/stylesoftheconfound

and add me, please

everyone seems to like this pic so i thought id put it on here.

5:35 PM - 27 views - 16 eprops - 8 comments - email it

Friday, December 16, 2005

Currently Listening
EP
By The Format
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alright, iv been thinking about shutting down this site. i know iv said before that i wanted to...but this time i really mean it. no new subscribers....and it takes FOREVER to update. and then my comp deletes the updates. and im busy with other things ( matt ) and school, work, and friends and such. i dont have time to give 2-3 hours to this site a day....especially when i get no subscribers...

so, in the next week, if i dont get up to 700 subscribers (i have 662 now...lots of comments might help) then im shutting down this site...no exceptions

for the people who have been subscribed for a long time, then thank you.

i made this icon for matt A LONG time ago, and i just saw it on someones site

edit----///

skipped school, so heres an edit with more, like i said i would. keep subscribing please.

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nothing to say

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matchbook romance mcr

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She Paints Me Blue Beauty In The Breakdown

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Image hosted by Photobucket.com sucker for love

so what. maybe i am scared. maybe i'm scared because you mean more to me than any other person. you are everything i think about. everything i want. <//3

all because of you
shes afraid to get close to people
because if she does she just thinks
they'll leave her.

don't come running back to me when you get
treated the exact same way you treated me.

&& i just wish..
i was one of those lucky girls.
who had a man to give her the world.
& never had to build up the courage
to tell a guy how she felt about him
cuz she'd already know..
that he felt the same way

i refuse to look in the mirror,
I refuse to see my face,
Red and tear streaked,
As my world falls out of place.
I refuse to look in the mirror,
To see the hurt in my eyes,
The shaking of my body,
As i resort to silent cries.
I refuse to look in the mirror,
The pain in my heart spread like an infection,
And I witness it all,
All through my reflection.
I refuse to look in the mirror,
To see that last teardrop fall,
I refuse to watch the failure,
As i give up on it all...

some girls spend their whole lives searching for
prince charming..but with me it just took him a while to
realize i was his cinderella <3

I'll stop loving you when diamonds never sparkle, and flowers cease to grow, when thunder doesnt echo, and rivers do not flow, when heart no longer wonder, and hands are never held, when smiles are only memories, and hope is never felt, when trees no longer blossom, and the stars refuse shine, when autumn has no falling leaves, and winter no longer dies, when time has no more tomorrows, and rainbows have no hue, then I'll stop loving you.

you broke my heart, tore it apart
you made me cry and made me
wanna die. you made me sad and
i was hurting so bad. well now i'm
letting you know; i found someone
new, i love him more than i loved
you, and he loves me too. so honey
i'm letting you know that i'm through
with you... I'm letting you go

&& her eyes screamed the saddest
apology the world had ever heard

there are days that i love you, and days that i dont. days i'd like to
be friends and days that i wont. days i'll pick up the phone and
give you a call. days im so sad i dont want to talk to you at all .
days i look back at all the things that we shared. days i question
myself if you really even care. theres so many things i wish i
could say, but im scared it will all come out in the wrong
way. no matter how much time goes by, i'll always be by your
side, cause i couldnt stop loving you .. even if i tried.

&& your hands they shake with goodbyes

..i’ll take you back if you’d have me..

the August sky will then bare witness.
to a brand new chapter with torn up pages.
& when the planets align, i can feel the gates opening.

you won’t be coming back

& I didn’t get to say goodbye

I really wish I got to say goodbye

It’s now or never to decide

Who we are and how we’ve tried…

Not just the old && sick die. You did
not always have time to reflect back
over your life && set right the wrong.
Sometimes you died young.

once again, i feel my heart break over your lost breath.

I'm leaving the past where it belongs..
way behind me. My future..well, it looks
fantastic because you wont be a part of it.

&& she sat .. she sat for hours wondering what she had done,
to deserve any of this pain that she was feeling. wondering what she
had done to make him go away. wondering what she had done to
make him break her heart in two. && as she started to cry, she
began asking herself why she ever said i love you..

It's like you think you're safe or something because you can just walk away anytime, because you don't need him ;; you don't need anyone. But the thing you don't realize is.. you're wrong

your type of beauty
is born to fade; one
of lust and of shame

all you actually see is a girl,
but have you ever seen the pain in her eyes?
apparently not, because look in the paper,
just another beautiful suicide

& constantly her friends tell him
how much she loves him ;; but
all he can say is -- i know.

I guess I thought you'd be here forever.
Another illusion I chose to create.
Don't know what you've got until it's gone.
& I found out just a little too late.

Do you ever wanna ask a question
but your heart is to scared to know the answer?

If i could go back and change it all
Erase every mistake I made through [[everything]]
I don't even think I would actually want to
Because even though it hurt so badly
I {survived} everything that happened to me

Ho Ho Ho
Under The Mistletoe
Kiss Me Once Kiss Me Twice
Are You Naughty or Are You Nice?

Nothing but your single serving selfish chapters
Of sacrificial moral standards.
No stranger to apathy in bold situations,
Take your time to make it happen

Aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream.
All the stars right out of the sky.
And destroy the prettiest starry night.
Every evening that I die.
Live,Love,Burn,Die

Your pretty face disguised
in a veil of fear
drip with tears
as I gave you one last
kiss before the fall

and I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.
but when I say let's keep in touch,
I really mean I wish that you'd grow up.
this is the first song for your mixtape.
and it's short just like your temper,
but somewhat golden like the afternoons
we used to spend before you got too cool...

you make me nervous

hella hella hella
nervous nervous nervous

Sometimes the worst of us come out at the most unscene times.
But we learn to move on. and forget our regrets and you help
me find my courage at times. Its going to be a
lonely winter without my body in your sweatshirt,
and without being able to call you mine

you can drive us to the harbor
wish apon a star,
but do you know what stars are?
balls of fire,
burning up the black space,
falling from the landscape,
exploding in the face of God.

As you lay in bed
Thinking about everything
That you did not do
Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it

if you promise to stay conscience; i will try and do the same.
we may die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain

I gaze out the window..
This cold winter's night
At all of the twinkling lights
Alone in the darkness
Remembering when you were mine
Everybody's smiling
The whole world is rejoicing
And everyone's embracing
Except for you and I

Tear drops falling
Soon Ill be crawling
On the ground
Give up while your still ahead
for every tear drop shed
sit inside your bed
and weep
and wish for it all
to come back
and watch me fall
down like before...

You said you hate my suffering
And you understood.
And youd take care of me
Youd always be there-
Well where are you now ?

so you threw out all his clothes,
&& burned the love letters he wrote,
&& the plaster dented from your fist,
in the hall where you had your first kiss,
reminds you the memories will never fade

the things you could do, you won't but, you might
the potential you'll be, that you'll never see
the promises you'll only make..

I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that I'm just scared to live
I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that the truth is I'm everything that I hate.

Burning pictures turn to ash
Speed this up so we can crash
Teenage romance will never last
Ooh heartbreaker, kill me fast

I'll lock myself alone in a room
Drink until the clock strikes noon
With just a pen, a pill, and some paper
And maybe I will write a sad song
Or another cliche poem
Of the person that I long to be...

Sail with me into the setting sun
The battle has been won, but war has just begun
And as we grow, emotion starts to die,
We need to find a way, just to keep our desires alive..

You can only push someone away for so long, then they start walking out of your life on their own. So be careful, because once they start walking away, they won’t turn back

just make me one last promise..
that i won't be just a memory to you this time

&& baby could this feeling last forever?

once bitten and twice shy i keep my distance but you still catch my eye tell me baby do you recognize me? it's been a year && things are never what they appear

You took my body. Tore it in half. you took my childhood. My heart. and My laugh

i wish you could've seen my face
in the backseat,
staring out the window

he keeps hurting you over & over again
yet, you keep going back
he's just that one boy you can't seem to let go of

Cause I'll never be alright
And I'm sorry you had to see this
But I'm such a mess
And I never could forget

why cant she get over him?
he's just a reminder of pain & hearbreak.
she wishes she could;
but somehow she cant get him out of her head.
It was just an innocent smile, but it lit up my world

this is such an unusual feeling.. im not used to feeling like this about someone
without pain and suffereing we wouldn't have salvation
...tell that to the ones who suffer...im sick of writing everything about you..
im sick of thinking about you all day long
im sick of waiting by the phone for you to call
im sick of feeling devastated when you don't
but mostly.. im sick and tired of the fact that you have absolutely no idea

i can't even stay mad at him for more than 20 minutes.. he makes me angry and then says something so damn sweet, or makes me laugh or something.. and i can't help but smile.and now.. i'm afriad of open water, but i often bathe in sin.

your wounds are opening wide, and they might be just my size.

your cynical and beautiful
you always make a scene
you're monochrome delirious
you're nothing what you seem
i'm drowning in your vanity
your laugh is a disease
you're dirty && you're sweet
you know you're everything to me
& i want to tear down at your defences
til there's nothing there but me..
you're beautiful when you're angry
your love is such a tease
i'm drowning in your dizzy noise

love is the most unpredictable series of events in one persons life. it has ups and downs. you have never truly experienced love until you have lost. i write this in agony and regret. you can never be truly happy. no one is. your always left wanting more. wishing and waiting. in hope of finding everything you have ever dreamed. you are always left with a feeling of defeat. the things we want the most are always the dreams that are just out of reach. we spill our hearts, full of love, anger and hate. with hope that in return, our wishes will be fufilled. everyday we climb the ladder to the stars, overcoming every obstacle in our path. only to be pushed back down. falling faster everytime. and yet we still climb. and we will keep climbing until death do us part.

Bleed Me Dry

you could have been all i wanted.. but you weren't honest

it's clawing at me.. ripping at my insides, i have to tell you, i need to tell you.. but i cant. the mere thought of rejection tugs at the back of my mind. the questions jump around in my head like bolts of lightning --how will you react, what will you say, how can i ruin this again--.. exhaustion overwhelms me.. my eyes burn from the tears. your tearing me apart and you have no idea. that.. i love you

and then theres him oh... i dont even know where to start.. when did things start to get so complicated ...

have you ever had enough? have you ever hurt so much that it hurt to hold on?.. when the one thing you look forward to every day is sleep.. because it helps you escape your reality?.. Like seriously.. have you ever gotten to the point where all you want to do is give up? Just tell the world to back off. where your numb from all feelings because of whats going on around you. you shut down your emotions just so they cant see you cry. and as they leave a single tear trickles down your cheek.. left undried. and so you go to your room numb and unfeeling. laying on your bed and staring at the wall until you cant keep your eyes open anymore. and in the morning all you can think in your head is "why" and no one ever has an answer. With everyone screaming you try to make a sound but no one hears you. Have you ever cried so hard that when you have no more tears left to cry your eyes burn from it?.. .. i have.

as you walk down the road.. alone and uncaring. you think to yourself. what is the point? what is the point of spending day after day alone. what is the point of spending every night crying yourself to sleep. there is no point. life has no meaning for you. your drowning in your own self pity. with no love and no friendship in your life.. you have nothing. an empty shell. yes dear; that is what you are. you spend your life giving until soon enough.. you have nothing left to give. with nothing in return you start to fade away into the cold, dark night. and with bandages on your heart and the emptiness in your eyes you still walk that road.. alone and uncaring.

i need to let go
get on with my life
i just wish you'd let your true feelings show
your words cut through me like a knife
i have nothing left to give
you've taken it all
i need to live
i need to soar
but with you all i seem to do is fall
my wings have been clipped
my last words
are this..
i surrender..

3:05 PM - 14 views - 22 eprops - 11 comments - email it

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Currently Listening
The Curse of Blondie
By Blondie
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edit---/// Tuesday

no subscribers = no update

---//Sunday

sorry for not updating much. i didnt get many comments on the last post so i didnt update...but i got a lot of subscribers. thanks.

iv been busy with birthdays and getting ready for christmas and everything i havent had time to update..especially with the end of the semester coming up, finals and everything. and iv been trying to work some things out...so sorry everyone

i added a halifax music video to my myspace, to check it out go to http://www.myspace.com/stylesoftheconfound and add me too...

umm a quote i wrote

im happy your sad
because your finally getting what you deserve
for everything that you ever did to me
and every tear that was shed from my eyes
and i hate you
with a passion

edit---//

added some of everything...enjoy

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